


The Random Tour Story

by MyrJuhl



Category: 30 Seconds to Mars
Genre: M/M, Phone Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-23
Updated: 2014-11-23
Packaged: 2018-02-26 18:29:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2662061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyrJuhl/pseuds/MyrJuhl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No plot what so ever, only Jared turning on his sarcastic self against someone asking for it...</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Random Tour Story

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The events never happened. This fic is for entertainment purposes only, not profit. I, the author, make no claim through this work as to the fictional characters/ actual lives/ preferences/ activities of the people mentioned herein. 
> 
> A/N: BIG thanks to jesco for invaluable inputs. *HUGS*

“They sure ripped your shirt tonight!”

Smiling, Jared flipped his brother the bird. “Yeah-yeah.” His clothes did suffer a hard time went he surfed the crowd during concerts, but it was a calculated expense and he always bought a dozen of the same shirts when he went shopping for stage clothes. A shirt approximately lasted 3-4 shows. Then it was ripped at a seam, buttons missing or like tonight: split in half. He had gone back stage and stripped. Then he returned to the crowd, surfing bare-chested. Everybody close to him squealed wanting to touch his naked skin, and he decided that maybe it wasn’t such a good idea if he wanted to stay intact. Coming back to the stage, he lent a shirt from a grinning Buck, their stage manager.

“Was Lee supposed to show up tonight?” Lee was Virgin Records’ General Manager in America and, by now, a personal friend of the band, too.

“No, Shan. I don’t think he could make it. Like he didn’t make it yesterday, and probably won’t make it tomorrow, either.”

“Sucks. He’s too busy. But at least he went with us to China. Of course he got a holiday out of it.”

“Yeah...” Jared replied a bit distracted, going through messages on his Blackberry. “God, I love my phone,” he mumbled with a grin. “What? Shan – c’mon,” he said. “Lee has a business to run. Of course, he came out to meet us. It was a big investment letting me fool around with a camera in China for fuck’s sake. A bit different than ‘The Kill’.” Then Jared narrowed his eyes concentrating on replying a message.

“Yeah – I guess, so.”

“Where did the emo-Twins go?” Jared asked.

“Dunno.” Shannon scratched his stomach that revealed itself as he stretched his body. He could use a little nap.

Tomo stepped into the bus a few seconds later with Tim in tow. “Hi guys!” They said.

“Speaking of! There they are!” Shan pointed at the twins dementedly, using his favourite redneck drawl.

“You’re the genius in our family, Shan. Mom always said so,” Jared said dryly with a smirk. Tomo went to the bathroom, and Tim went to the front of the bus, politely closing the door after him to the lounge where the Letos were.

“I know,” Shannon said, happily, and slid down on the couch. Then he grabbed a blanket and disappeared under it. Looking up, he caught his brother’s eyes resting on him. 

“Sleep tight,” Jared said, and then he returned to his phone. Suddenly, it went off, startling him. Answering he said, “Jared. Speak up.”

“Are you dressed now?” a voice asked.

“What the hell...” Jared looked at the caller’s number, but it was anonymous. Not many had his Blackberry number so he wasn’t pleased if it was a random prank call – however. He did perform half naked tonight – so obviously, this person had been present.

“Hokay...” Jared smiled, rolling his eyes. “You got ten seconds to convince me not to hang up on you, motherfucker.” He knew he should just hang up but, at the same time, he wanted to find out why this person had his phone number. He hated to change his number just because some prick had gotten hold of it. It could be accidental. So far, he hoped this was the case, but he needed to be sure.

“Don’t you know who this is?”

“Couldn’t really tell. You scumbags all sound alike after a while.”

The man snorted good-natured, and Jared got the feeling he knew this voice, albeit it was cleverly disguised.

“Scumbag? I just appreciate looking at a nice body.”

“You were looking at my... nice body?” Jared frowned and sent Shannon a look of disbelief.

“Is it a chick?” Shannon asked with a grin.

Jared shook his head, which made Shannon smile wider. His little brother could be very cruel to prank callers. In fact, Jared and Shannon had made cruel prank calls several times, but with the modern technology nowadays, it wasn’t such a great idea anymore. It could backfire easily.

“Hell, I even got to touch it, but I suppose you didn’t really notice.”

“In the crowd?”

“Could be.”

Jared cleared his throat and tucked the phone better under his chin as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Shannon frowned. _What was going on?_ He pulled the blanket a little down and stared at his brother.

“Could also be not in the crowd, then?” Jared asked.

“Could be...”

Jared laughed. “So... I might even know who you are, motherfucker?”

“Well, it depends if you noticed me.”

“Well, obviously. And obviously, you’re a whore for cheap attention.”

“From you?”

“Look... dude... I think your ten seconds just went...”

“You want phone sex... Jared?”

Completely taken off guard, Jared almost spewed. “WHAT!!!”

Shannon sat up in alarm, but then Jared started laughing. 

The caller was quiet, but then Jared wouldn’t have heard a thing anyway because that question was too fantastic, and he was still snorting. “Do I WANT some? Ohhhh... my fucking god! From you, dude? That is priceless!”

“My pleasure,” the voice replied, clearly smiling.

“Well...” Jared tried hard to contain himself. The caller finally had his attention. In a nicer tone of voice he asked, “What is today’s offer, my friend?”

“What would you like?”

“Surprise me.”

“Something that would really make you scream when you fly to the roof in a mind blowing orgasm.”

Snorting at the guy’s boldness, Jared replied, “Yeah I’m sure I would. Only problem is...” Jared’s voice went down to a whisper, “I’m not exactly alone.”

“Okay... tricky. Who’s with ya?”

“Oooh... just the band, the techs, Buck, our driver, merch staff...”

“...All the band?”

“Yeah... well...” Jared looked around. “No – Tim is miss...” Jared stood up and marched to the aisle. Opening the door, he found Tim with his phone. The man jerked in surprise at seeing Jared. Languidly looking at the bassist, Jared said into the phone, “Go on, dude. What do you have in mind that would make me get a mind blowing ORGASM?”

Slowly, Tim got on his feet and shut his phone. Jared smiled and stepped in front of the tall, thin man. “You’re cute, Tim. But not that cute. That was a great prank.” 

“So I get my allowance this week?” Tim asked, smiling.

“Sure, but I sentence you to vacuum cleaning my bunk later,” Jared smirked as he went back into the lounge.

“When did Tim start getting cheeky?” he asked his brother when he entered the room. 

“What was that all about?” Shannon said, grinning. “He’s always been cheeky.”

“Not this kind of cheeky... Oh that! That was just a prank call.”

“Huh?” Shannon said, confused, but chose to ignore it. Jared was already distracted.

Tomo came out from the bathroom and stuck his head into the aisle. “ _Tim_? I summon you!” 

“In a second!” he heard the cry from the other end of the bus. 

Jared and Shannon shared a little smile. It felt so great how Tim and Tomo just hit it off right away. Tim had been incredibly humble and shy last year when he filled in for Matt the first time, but this time it was different. He was a good bass player and his energetic interaction with the others on stage better than they could have hoped for. The younger, blue-eyed man simply fit in with the rest of them so well now. Tim still had a huge problem getting used to the attention he got after the show. He was uncomfortable doing the signing after the concert and, later in the evening, he also kept to himself unless fans noticed him and came to talk to him. He was all shakes and stutters until he sensed what kind of people the fans were, only then did he relax.

Finally, Tim came back. Jared smiled seeing him. Tim grinned at him, but his face was rosy. 

“What did you want, Tomo?” the bassist asked.

“Was it the way you’d hoped it would be?”

“ _You_ set him up?” Jared laughed.

Tomo laughed, too. “Fuck yes, and I listened to you from the bathroom.”

“Could someone fill _me_ in?” Shannon asked, crankily.

“Tim tried to make me have phone sex with him,” Jared said, finally shutting his Blackberry.

Shannon grinned. “Well I wasn’t sure, but I assumed the topic was anal.”

“It was promising, maybe even steaming until Timmie made a mistake.”

“What mistake?”

“Never mind, guys!” Tim said, by now crimson in the face. “Let’s go, Tomo.” The two string players left the bus and went to do some more sound checking. On the way to the stage, they noticed the queue of fans was more prominent now. They recognized several Echelon fans, but were not approached by them. Their fans had an impeccable timing when to leave the band alone... most of the time. 

The sound wasn’t so good, and Buck complained about a million things that weren’t functioning a hundred percent. Not that it ever did, but at least he managed to eliminate the worst malfunctions.

An hour went by and when Tim and Tomo were done. Tim had a little errand to run, but Tomo noticed that the line of fans was even larger. A few waved at him, and Tomo came to say ‘hi’, letting people take his picture with them. After half an hour, he left to go to the bus. Once Tomo started talking to fans, he had difficulty stopping! He loved talking to the fans and he even knew it could be overwhelming sometimes when he first got started. Tim came back in that instant carrying a bag.

“What have you got there?” Tomo asked as they went to the bus. “You got Jared’s movie?”

“Yeah, I got his fucking movie.”

“What did you get for me?” 

“Secrets,” Tim said, eyes radiating with humour.

Inside the bus, Jared was applying make-up. Tomo smiled, watching the man get ready. “Looking good, babe,” he said.

“Thanks. Shouldn’t you get ready yourself?” Jared asked him. 

“Yeah. Got this for you, by the way.”

Jared put down the eyeliner. “What?” Then he received a package. “Oh... interesting.” Opening it, he smiled. “Wow... Love this. It’s amazing how talented some of these fans are. Boy or girl?”

“This is from a girl.”

“A shame she didn’t want to wait till after the show.” Jared studied the drawing. 

Tomo smiled. “She was probably afraid it would be broken. Besides, she was more shy than Timmie!” He grabbed Tim and ruffled his hair. God, he liked this young man. He practically couldn’t keep his hands off him. 

Eventually they finished, got dressed and relaxed going over the details with Buck. Things that they could do and those they couldn’t. Then they left. It was time.

One and a half hour later, the gig was over and they sat at the signing table set up in the foyer of the concert stadium. It was a good evening. The line wasn’t big, so they had plenty of time to enjoy it and shared a few words and hugs. Later, they would come out and talk with whatever fans were remaining at the scene, but the band needed some dinner and rest before that. 

It was now in the middle of the night, and today’s job was finally done. After they had met a few but devoted fans outside the bus for a chat, Jared now lay in his bunk, wearing headphones as he watched the new movie Tim got for him on his own little transportable DVD player. Sitting in Tomo’s lower bunk, the guitarist and Tim crowded the space watching what he’d gotten for Tomo. Shannon was sleeping. He felt unwell after dinner and hadn’t come out tonight. 

The crew slept, too, so in general, the bus was quiet. After a while, Tomo nudged Tim to check on Jared who would most likely have fallen asleep. Pulling the singer’s curtain, Tim indeed found Jared far away in dreamland. Shutting down the DVD lid, he put the equipment under Jared’s bunk. The younger Leto didn’t even move an eyelash. Quickly, he went back into Tomo’s bunk, arranged himself against Tomo’s powerful body, and put back on the headphones.

“Still wanna have phone sex with him?” Tomo smirked, as he pulled out one of Tim’s earpieces. 

“No...” Tim smiled, and pulled out Tomo’s earpiece. “Didn’t want it in the first place.”

“What would you have done if he’d gone through with it?”

Looking at Tomo, Tim grinned. “Oh come on! There’s no way, he would _not_ have found out.”

“Wanna have phone sex with me?”

Swallowing all of a sudden, Tim turned to look concentrated at the DVD screen. “Uh... uh... maybe...”

Tomo whispered in Tim’s tiny ear. “Why did you pick this film for me?”

Tim smiled. “Thought you’d like it.”

“Oh, I do.” Tomo shimmied down on the bunk, pulling Tim with him.

“Wait... lemme shut the thing down.”

Patiently waiting for Tim to get the box stashed away under the bunk, Tomo smiled when the bassist crawled back into his arms.

“Where were we?” Tim whispered.

 

 

Next day in the lounge, Jared sat working on his computer when his Blackberry rang.

“Yeah, who’s this? I trust it’s not you again, Tim,” Jared threatened, not remembering Tim’s number from yesterday.

“Who the fuck is Tim? And where’s ... Barry?” a voice barked. 

Jared didn’t recognize that gruff, nasal voice and groaned inwardly. “Barry?”

“It’s his fucking phone, man!”

Jared felt like being mean getting interrupted while working and replied, “Oh? Really? Well, I’m just holding his cock for him.”

“His what?” the man asked.

“His phone ...you demented fuck,” Jared mumbled under his breath.

“Oh! I get it,” the man said, excitedly. “Well I was expecting the motherfucker to answer himself, you know. It’s 2PM... my usual ‘appointment’, get it? I’m just about to burst my seams. I’m so fucking horny.”

“Oh sure, sure. Can I take a message?” Jared asked, smiling evilly.

“No... you his friend?”

“... suuure...” 

“You can do me then?”

“Do ya...?” Jared responded.

“Yeah, man. I’m so fucking horny, you dig?”

“Oh, ho, ho... I dig. What - ya want me to call ya cock sucker?” Jared said, his eyes focused on the screen, as he deleted the sentence he just wrote. 

Silence.

“Cock sucker? You’re the cock sucker!”

“Whatever. Got a name, dude?”

“Buddy. What’s yours, cock sucker?”

 _Christ, what an idiot._ Jared rolled his eyes. “Well, why don’t we pretend I’m Jared Leto, huh?”

“Oh yeah, yeah, man. That dude’s got a tight ass.”

“...sure...” Jared replied, keeping a lid on his smile.

“And I hear he’s quite hung, too.”

Now, Jared had to fight hard not to howl with laughter. Composing himself, he chuckled, “Let’s for argument’s sake agree on that. Helps greasing the fantasy in the right direction.”

“Exactly. Upwards... in your ass. You’re cool, ‘Jared’,” Buddy snickered. There was a pause. Clearly, Buddy was excited and waited to hear what ‘Jared’ had to say to a dare like that.

“You hard, Buddy? Your cock hard for me?” Tucking his phone under his chin, Jared grabbed a National Geographic on the couch. He’d gotten the magazine for free since his participation on ‘Alaska Bush Pilots’ ten years ago. Slowly turning the pages, he listened. He could clearly hear a zipper being undone. Buddy was very eager for action. 

“Just keep talking, Jared!” the man urged him on.

“I’m just Barry’s friend. I really don’t know anything about phone sex, Buddy.”

“You... don’t? Aww, man. But you did fine just now. A real pro,” Buddy’s nasal voice almost whined, “Talk some more dirty stuff.”

Quirking an eyebrow, Jared said, “All right – you wanna fuck my tight asshole?”

Buddy snorted. “Oh! Gosh! Barry never lets me do THAT! Yeah! Absolutely, cock sucker.”

“You could also fuck my face. I’ve got a tiny little mouth. You could easily hurt me, you big brute, you.”

There was a pause. Clearly, Buddy was weighing his options. “No... I want your tight ass, ‘Jared’.”

“Hokay. Ass it is,” Jared sighed, noticing an ad for Crocs on page 32. New colours... _Wow..._ Grabbing a pen, he eagerly looked down the page. “Well, I’m not Barry,” he drawled. “I can let you fuck my ass hard, rough, and dry.”

“Cool, man. Turn around for me so I can see your tiiiiiiight little fuck hole.”

Jared winced by the sheer idea of actually getting fucked hard and dry by a character like Buddy. There were other men he’d rather have a go at... if he was inclined that is.

“So...” Jared picked a hair from his tongue, “I’m on my hands and knees, right? My incredibly hung bits are dripping on the sheets, carpets or where ever the fuck you want me. I can hardly wait for your dick to drill into me giving me carpet burns.” 

Heavy breathing, and a loud gasp making Jared hold his phone a foot from his sensitive eardrum to avoid the impact.

“Shiiiiiiittt!!!!!”

“Awwwww – don’t tell me you already came, Buddy? I only just got started!” Jared said, faking how sorry that made him.

“Sorry, Jared!” Buddy almost cried. “I just creamed my fucking pants, man! What a fucking mess! You got one dirty mouth!”

Jared crossed out two pairs he might want to purchase. He loved his silver coloured, but these new colours were very tempting. “That’s what the ladies constantly tells me after a concert.”

“Ladies? What ladies? And what concert? But I thought you were an actor?”

“Ignorant little shit. You keep forgetting I’m not really Barry... just a friend holding his dick.”

“Right, right. You said that. You did good, ‘Jared’. Just wish you’d been the real actor. That man’s got a tight ass to die for. So you tell Barry to bill me, right?”

“Sure will, Buddy. Anything for Barry’s tricks. Bu-bye, motherfucker.” Rubbing his nose, Jared hung up. 

“Who the fuck was that?” asked Shannon who stood in the door.

Looking up, Jared smiled. “I have no fucking idea. Just hope he doesn’t dial me again some other time.”

“Another crank call?”

“I’m afraid so. Don’t know why I get all these requests for phone sex! What do they think I am? Kinky?” Jared snorted at the thought of his collection of advanced sex toys. His Blackberry rang. “Yeah?” he asked, apprehensively, in case it was another idiot on the line.

“Did you get a hard on this time, Jared?”

“What the...?” Now it was Tim’s voice. Laughing, Jared got up before he yelled into the phone, “I’m gonna fucking kill you, cunt! You fucking got me!”

“I know,” Tim replied, pleased, his voice turning into Buddy’s irritating nasal lilt. “But don’t forget to bill me. We can’t have Barry missing out on his income.”

“Well why don’t you give me the ten bucks personally?”

“Oh! You think I frequent whores that expensive?”

“Ha ha, Tim. Could be why ‘Buddy’ don’t get to fuck Barry in the ass!” Jared laughed.

“One sec...” Tim’s breath became shallower. “Oh – that feels so good... Jay? I’ll just finish doing Tomo, then I’ll pay you.”

The phone went dead, and Jared sat stunned into speechlessness. “He’s doing... Tomo?” Looking up, Jared’s face resembled a question mark.

“I knew that,” Shannon smiled.

 

End of tale May 12 th 2007


End file.
